I Felt ‘Not Ready’ for Years. Here’s Why I’m Finally Building My Website

For the longest time, creating my own website felt like declaring to the world — Hey, I'm an expert.

I was never ready to "lie" like that.

A person working on a website

Stuck between imposter syndrome and the idea of achieving perfectionism, I stalled creating my own digital presence while being well aware of its need. Over the years, I garnered more confidence, learned more skills, and felt more comfortable in my claim as a content marketer.

And still no website, or even an About Me, or a landing page with vague promises.

I still don't feel anywhere near ready, and I've realized I probably never will.

There will always be a lingering doubt or the fear of the unknown to stop you from taking the first step.

That's why I now feel okay with starting anyway.

What Finally Changed

The first thing to realize and acknowledge is that no one is going to come and give you permission to make your website or do that one thing you always hesitate on.

I've been there — hoping someone would affirm that I was good enough and that I should create my website.

Of course that never happened; I got praises for my work but never the permission I sought. That was because I wanted others to believe in me more than I believed in myself.

Here's what finally clicked for me — I wanted validation, to not feel like I was lying or making up who I was.

So, I learned to give it to myself and let go of things that were weighing me down:

• obsessing over the idea of perfectionism and becoming an expert before starting.

• waiting for the "right time" to feel like I was ready before claiming to be an expert.

• letting the imposter syndrome hold me down. I have the skills, and I know it.

• comparing myself to other digital marketers and their achievements.

My issues haven't magically disappeared. But now I am aware of them and have found a way to work around them with a little more kindness to myself.

Here's what I did

I acknowledged my shortcomings and my flaws, and then I took a leap of faith. And I didn't end up building a website instantly. I took small, measured steps.

I started writing on Medium, first under a pseudonym.

Gained confidence to keep my identity and write.

Then I dabbled in writing newsletters.

All this finally allowed me to realize that people aren't as obsessed with finding my flaws as I am in seeing them.

I was able to shift my focus from the negatives and build a website that was

• my place of growth, not present a picture-perfect image of me.

• messy and human that allows others to see who I am.

• an opportunity to learn new skills and polish old ones.

• a platform to experiment and test my theories and learnings.

• a portfolio that gives a face to my skills and experience.

The not-ready feeling is still there. I still hesitate before hitting the publish button. But now it's just a hesitation, not crippling anxiety and thoughts plagued by "what ifs."

I am not perfect, and neither is my website. But I am still showing up — for myself.

If you are waiting for a sign

As humans, we often see signs where we want to see them but disregard the ones that make us nervous.

This blog is not your sign to start creating your website or publish your first blog or do whatever you've been hesitating to do.

No, the thought that made you click on this blog was your sign.

You already know what you need to do—you’re just stalling.

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