The Most Toxic Relationship: Life Lessons

They say blood is thicker than water.

A man facing away from his wife and daughter, upset.

In the case of toxic relationships, the one that takes the cake is not your ex but your family.

I don’t have good relations with my relatives due to family disparities. My brother and I aren’t really forgiving or forgetful about that matter. So it’s not a surprise for our parents that we don’t actively communicate with our relatives.

Yet, whenever there is an occasion, a birthday, or some anniversary, and we show reluctance to reach out and extend meaningless best wishes, they are quick to remind us that family ties, no matter how strained, cannot be completely forsaken.

And I’d consider my parents saints to be able to look past the problems and still call them family, but I can’t extend that courtesy.

I find it rather humorous how being family allows people the free pass to hurt you without consequences.

When it’s family, forgive and forget might as well be tattooed on their foreheads.

Screenshot of the definition of "blood is thicker than water" taken from Google

I think people forget to read the word loyalty in the terms and agreements of this relationship.

Family means you have to hold no accountability for your actions. No matter how grave your mistake, the idea is that they’ll come around; they are family.

Maybe the word family is synonymous with being a doormat. One that I am not.

Being family does not make you any less responsible for what you did. Rather, I think the consequences should be worse than that for a stranger.

You knew what you were doing would hurt me; you knew I trusted you, and with the very intention to hurt me or for your selfish needs, you stabbed me in the back.

Pray tell me, why exactly would they not be accountable?

This is one relationship that your parents will always encourage you to keep in touch with.

And somewhere down the line, these very behaviors and actions are so normalized that we are quick to forgive others as well and become blind to the injustice.

One fine day when I refused to talk to one of my relatives, my mom told me that no matter what you do, you can’t get rid of these relationships.

And the first response that came to my mind was, I’m already leaving the country, so I’ll block them.

“Blood relations can never be forsaken.”

I’m already leaving the country, so I’ll just block their numbers.

“When calamities come, you need your family by your side.”

But knowing this family, it’s more likely they'll exploit my vulnerable state and make my bad moments worse.

“We live in a society; we have to keep up pretenses.”

This is the equivalent of telling a person to stay in their abusive relationship because divorce is frowned upon.

I’m not the one who did anything wrong; why am I taught to carry the sense of responsibility to make amends?

These people have no remorse or guilt, but I should forgive them?

You can only forgive a person who asks for it.

Even better is their awareness that what they did is horrible. Thanks to these relatives, I have an indifferent relationship with my cousins as well. That is so because they are in a constant fear that I would blab about the past their kids are unaware of.

So the fact that you know you did a bad thing but fully expect to be forgiven because you're family is very despicable to me.

I’d forgive a stranger quicker than I’d forgive family.

And as far as having people around you is concerned, I’d rather trust the family I have found through the years than the one I was born to.

Whenever someone would ask me to proceed with caution because I’ve just met this person, I’d find it hilarious. We trusted people we knew our whole lives, and look where it got us. I’ll take my chances with this new person. Their betrayal would hurt less anyway.

So, I don’t believe that family is just limited to sharing DNA—it is about trust, accountability, and genuine love for each other. Being family does not and should not give anyone the right to hurt you and get away without consequence.

This is the one toxic relationship that is the most difficult to walk away from and forfeit ties with. But you must always put your own peace and happiness before others—especially ones that ruin it. Loyalty, love, and ties aren’t blind commitments.

Blood may be thicker than water, but that doesn’t mean you drown in it.

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