I know you want to hold on... but it's time to let go

Here’s a gentle reminder that you cannot fix someone who doesn’t wish to be. At least not any more than you can freeze ice in an oven.

Life of Pi (2012)

And it's a bitter pill to swallow. We all believe we can change them and our relations will get better, but deep down we know that isn't going to happen, right?

Deep down, we know that we are only putting up with this behavior and attitude because we do not have the strength to face the truth. We don't want to cut them off and live without them in our lives. We believe they’ll see sense and learn to appreciate us and our efforts.

Sitting alone in the room, you keep reliving every moment over and over, unable to fathom a moment where they weren’t involved. And you break your own heart again and again. All the while hoping that there won't come a day when they force your hand and make you push them away.

But we both know it's a likely outcome.

And the first week will be difficult; then slowly, as time passes, you’ll start to realize it was you who held on to them. Held on to an image of them at their best.

Just like that, it will get better. Even if you don't cut them off right now, slowly, the indifference will seep into your bones. One day, you’ll find yourself looking at them with disdain or even without concern and wondering what made you invest your time.

You will find your willpower and your pride; you will suddenly be reminded of your own needs and become a little more "selfish.” And even though in reality it won't be sudden, you will wake up one day and feel nothing for them.

And it's okay if that is the day you decide to shut the doors on them; we all have a different way of mourning loss. Some of us mourn and let go, while others let go and mourn.

For now, all you have to do is acknowledge, not their flaws but your own needs and desires. If you put your hand in fire, you are bound to burn it, and it’s no one’s fault but your own.

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